I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one.
Unity is something that seems like it should be a given with love. When love is flowing in two directions, the people should be on the same page and united in that love. But that is only in a perfect world. In the real world love doesn’t always mean unity.
One of the reasons for this is a legitimately good one. God made us each different and just because we love one another doesn’t mean that we will think alike. This is something that people in churches particularly seem to forget. Just because one person prefers brown carpet to hide the dirt and another wants blue because it’s prettier, it doesn’t mean that either is wrong. The difference and often the problem is that there is a right way and a wrong way to disagree with one another. You can disagree but treat each other with respect and there will be unity. But the flip side is that if you insist that the only correct solution is yours and you won’t listen to compromise, things can become unloving quickly. Some situations have black and white answers, others don’t. We need to treat each other with love and strive for unity in each, even if that means that we don’t agree on all matters.
Another reason for disunity even if two people love each other is that there are different levels of love. As discussed previously, love is about sacrifice. But what if one partner may be willing to sacrifice a great deal for their marriage while the other makes few sacrifices? This will cause disunity. Unity doesn’t mean that everything is split 50/50. However it should recognize the other person’s preferences and acknowledge that they make sacrifices in the name of love.
There will be disagreements in even the best marriages and that is okay. One can still have unity even when disagreeing and that is the goal. Love means trying to see things from the other person’s perspective and trying to understand their point of view. It doesn’t require agreement but two people can be unified in trying to find a solution that works for both.