Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
There are many things that we consider love today. Some things seem more like a glitch in the English language. For instance, we love cookies or we may love a certain movie. We use the word love to mean that we strongly favor it.
Even within the context of human relationships, there are different kinds of love. We do not love our mother in the same way that we love our best friend. And we love our spouse in yet another different way. The difference between these loving relationships is intimacy.
Intimacy implies that it can only be shared with a limited number of people. There are a limited number of people who changed your diapers as a baby and have embarrassing stories to tell of you as a kid. This relationship is based upon information that a limited number of people have.
The same is true with friends. You may only have a few or you may have many but only a select group will know your deepest, darkest secrets.
Finally, there is your spouse. This should be your most intimate relationship and your deepest love. And that comes before physical intimacy enters into the equation. This is also where love gets the most confused because many relationships lack this level of intimacy.
People get married for many reasons. Often that reason is called love but that love isn’t an intimate kind of love. It is a love for the way a person looks or how that person makes them feel. Attraction is a good thing and your spouse should make you feel good about yourself. But these things are not the basis for a relationship. As a matter of fact, they don’t have anything to do with a true relationship. There are plenty of other men or women that we could be attracted to and there are plenty of other people – or other things – that will make us feel good about ourselves.
The basis for a relationship should be the desire to be in a relationship. It should be the desire to know more and more about a person and to care about them and know that they care about you. Good things come out of that relationship for sure but the key to a loving relationship is that intimacy. When a couple gets married, it should be with the desire to know the other person better because this will happen regardless. A person who thinks that they know all about the other one before they get married will be in for a shock.
Intimacy comes about in marriage because things are shared with the other person that isn’t shared with anyone else. This includes the mundane like personal hygiene habits but also the special things like secret hopes and dreams. It also includes life events like anniversaries, raising children, vacations, and growing old together. These intimate moments come in a marriage and should be looked forward to in a loving relationship.