Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Kindness is really kind of a vague word. If you have to describe it, it is almost like a more general type of love.
We recognize kindness when we see it. It is carried out in acts that aren’t required but are nice. Holding the door open for someone is kind. Waving hello to a neighbor is kind. These things aren’t done because you love a person, they are just done to be nice or to be friendly.
To say that love is kind means that it goes beyond what is required. It pays attention to the little things. One might expect their spouse to listen to what a lousy day they had at work. But a person wouldn’t feel obligated to rub their spouse’s feet while they listen. This is kindness.
There is a Christian movement I’d call it for lack of a better word that has been termed “random acts of kindness.” Some use it as an evangelistic tool. They do something unexpectedly nice for someone else – rake their yard, carry their groceries to the car, etc. Sometimes it opens up the door to share the gospel because the person wants to know why they are being helped.
In a marriage a couple should practice random acts of kindness as well. When the spouse asks what is going on – if it is completely out of the ordinary, they will likely suspect that you want something – just explain that you wanted to express your love for them. This is something that the more you do it, the more you’ll see that love reciprocated. Obviously you aren’t kind to get your spouse to be kind back but it creates an environment of love.
If you and your spouse yell a lot, an environment has been created where yelling is normal and accepted. But on the flipside, if you and your spouse show each other how much you care regularly, then an environment is created where this will happen on a regular basis and will become the norm. Obviously it should be your goal to create a marriage where kindness is expected rather than the exception.